Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey, Lindsay Lohan
Directed by Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez
Rated: R
Run Time: 105 mins
Genre: Comedy/ Action/ Crime/ Thriller
3 frames out of 5
You messed with the wrong Mexican, esé.
Machete (Danny Trejo) pronounced MA-CHET-TAY, is a Mexican Federale that doesn’t play by the rules. When a bust up goes south, a rival ex-Federale turned drug lord, Torrez (Steven Seagal) kills Machete’s wife and leaves him for dead.
Three years later, Machete has crossed the border into the U.S. and is just tying to exist. What he gets caught up in is in a power struggle between the Network (they help illegals cross the border), the Politicians and the Mexican Drug syndicate. I.C.E Agent Sartana (Jessica Alba) is trying to nail down local Network leader Luz (Michelle Rodriguez). Luz is trying to help Machete by getting him food. When Machete is turned away from any type of day laborer work, he is picked up by snarky political aid Booth (Jeff Fahey). Booth offers Machete $150,000 to kill Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro).
What Machete doesn’t know yet that all of these bad guys are intertwined and with the help of Agent Sartana and Luz, it’s up to Machete to stop the madness at the border and expose the political scum for what they are.
If you are a fan of Rodriguez more grown-up movies (Spy Kids does not apply here) this movie will appeal to every cinematic sense you may have. It is a visual feast of colors, action, violence and quick-witted humor. This is definitely a guys movie (within the first 3 minutes of the film a lot of guys die and there’s a chick fully nekkid. Need I say more?), chock full of sleezy 70’s style film noir, lots of violence, cultural/ racists jokes and did I say nekkid women and sex? Yeah there’s lots of that too. Just a side note… lots of art-imitating-life for Lindsay Lohan, perhaps in this film?
Things to watch for: Lots of gore, blood & violence; just about every pretty girl in this movie gets naked – Jessica Alba, Lindsey Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez (partially with the costumes, I guess), gratuitous sex scenes; Cheech Marin as a Priest that kicks ass and much, much more.
Who should see this movie: Fans of Robert Rodriguez films; Fans of Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Lindsey Lohan, Steven Segal, Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson and Michelle Rodriguez; Fans of uber violent movies like Grindhouse, Kill Bill and 70’s style movies.
See it in the Theater or Rent it on DVD: If you’re a fan, you know you’ll do both.
